Saving Grace (Loving Meadows Book 1) Read online

  “You forgot to call her today, didn’t you?” Caleb was chuckling on the phone. Even he knew I talked to my sister every day. When I first started doing it, after going away to college, it was to keep in touch with her. Of our siblings, Sydney had always been my partner in crime. After a few years of daily calls, it became habit.

  I sighed. “Yeah. Bad case.”

  “She’s just out with Grace. You can call her cell.”

  Grace.

  Now there was a name that had my bad mood melting away.

  Not that she’d spoken to me in the last few months. Not after I pissed her off with my opinion of that douchebag Jeremy she was seeing. With the exception of passing Sydney’s youngest, Brielle, to Grace after she was born a few weeks back, I hadn’t even seen the woman, much less spoken to her.

  “I might do that,” I replied. “I’m off tomorrow though, so maybe I’ll just video chat with you guys and the kids tomorrow. Will you guys be around?” My three-year-old nephew, Brandon, got a kick out of Skype.

  “Three-day weekend?”

  One of the brighter spots to my job as a detective for special crimes in Salt Lake City was I worked what were called 9/17 shifts. I worked nine hours a day, for nine of ten weekdays. Of course, crimes didn’t just stop at night, so that was when my eighteen hour shifts came into play, but thank God I wasn’t on call this weekend. “Yeah.”

  “You want to come out here and keep Syd and the kids company? I leave in the morning for an east coast trip.”

  I thought about it. It wasn’t like I had anything keeping me here for the weekend. I didn’t have reports to file. My partner, Jake, took the time off to fuck his girl sideways to Monday, but I didn’t have one of those either.

  A girl.

  I had a list of willing partners, but I hadn’t been feeling any of them lately. I went through the motions to get her off, get me off, making sure she found a satisfying release, but mine never quite got there.

  Not to the point I knew I could get to, a point I’d gotten to once before.

  And the one woman I wanted? The one I knew without a fucking doubt would do it for me? Well, I firmly shut that door and friend-zoned her years ago.

  “I could probably do that.” I nodded to myself as I looked around my bleak apartment. The job paid well, but there wasn’t any reason for me to be in a larger place than what this one bed, one and a half bath, apartment gave me. The couch pulled out to a bed if ever a friend or sibling decided to crash, which was rarer than a blue moon. The white walls were devoid of anything that would even hint toward who I was.

  That in and of itself probably spoke volumes.

  I used to be this goofy guy, the guy cracking jokes left and right, but damn if this job didn’t dim that sometimes. I needed to get away, and a long weekend with my sister and her kids would likely help.

  …and maybe Grace would be around too.

  Grace

  Your brother is coming this weekend

  I looked from the phone turned at me up to the person holding the device.

  Anything I said would likely be thrown back in my face, so I merely lifted a brow.

  Sydney smiled wide, her uniquely yellow eyes dancing under the twinkle lights the coffee shop had hanging. “You know you want to see him.”

  Another text came through.

  No matchmaking chief. Let them figure it out.

  I slouched in the well-worn couch at our favorite coffee shop, my face heating, and shrugged a shoulder. I lifted my mug to my mouth to try and distract myself. Sydney and I had been at Bean There for the last two hours and my macchiato had grown cold, but I needed to do something with my hands.

  There was nothing quite like your best friend, and her husband, meddling in your love life…

  I met Sawyer Meadows a few years back when Sydney and Caleb had an engagement party. From the moment I met the third Meadows child, I was completely struck by him. His hair was a brassy auburn, brown in some lights but a deep copper in the sun. His eyes, like Sydney’s, were so light a brown, they looked yellow. He was slightly taller than average for a guy, with a body you couldn’t help but want to wrap your arms around.

  But more than the physical, Sawyer was a good guy.

  He was always cracking jokes, always had a quick smile. He was a good friend to those he cared about, a great brother to Sydney, and an awesome uncle to those chicklets I had the pleasure of referring to as my own nephews and niece, even though I really wasn’t their aunt.

  He didn’t visit very much anymore, not since promoting to detective for Salt Lake City’s special crimes task force a few years back, but when he did make his way to San Diego, I could definitely see the changes in him. He tried to hide it, tried to be his jovial self, but I could tell what he did hurt his soul.

  He was such a happy, open person; I couldn’t imagine staying that way was an easy feat with the amount of bad he saw day in and out.

  He and Sydney had very similar features, so it was easy to miss him every day I didn’t see him or talk to him. Never mind the fact he called her every day and there had been numerous times I was with Sydney when he made his daily call.

  I hated that I was envious of my friend for talking to her brother. Sawyer and I used to text, email, or call one another nearly every day. But after I had him meet a guy I’d been seeing, everything just seemed to stop.

  Part of me thought maybe he’d been jealous of Jeremy.

  There was nothing blatantly wrong with the man, and Sawyer’s emails felt like he was grasping at straws for what he found to be negative qualities in him

  If Sawyer was jealous, it certainly wasn’t warranted. Sawyer and I did the more-than-friends thing once—even if had been just a single night—and nothing came of it. We had a great night but I was here, he was there…a relationship would have never worked out. Friends worked well for us.

  God, I couldn’t believe I’d been that bridesmaid—the one who slept with the bride’s brother after the wedding.

  But Sydney wasn’t aware of it.

  All she knew was that Sawyer and I got along incredibly well at her engagement party, and then even better at the wedding. She knew he and I forged a friendship after those months.

  And she’d been trying to hook us up ever since. She cooled it down—and by that, I mean she only brought it up once a week rather than once a day—when I told her I was seeing Jeremy. I should have expected that, once I told her I broke things off with him, her efforts would go back into overdrive.

  Sure, Jeremy was a decent guy—and certainly handsome with his blond hair and blue eyes, and GQ-type smile—but my relationship with him had started to feel stale. The first few weeks were fun and exciting but since then, there hadn’t been much, if any, growth. We were stagnant. So, after a few months of hoping for emotional growth, rather than stay in the relationship, I broke up with him.

  It wasn’t like Jeremy had changed. He was still his touchy-feely self. He still held my hand and hugged me tight to him, but I would have expected the feelings I had for him to grow and they simply...

  Hadn’t.

  And I had a feeling I knew the reason why.

  Sawyer Meadows.

  Wasn’t that just the kicker? The guy who I slept with but became friends with. The guy whose friendship had been such a strong presence in my life for hardly a handful of years.

  The guy who barely talked to me anymore.

  We were in two different states. I had my boutique here in San Diego and he was a detective in Salt Lake City. A relationship would never work.

  Heck, look at our friendship. Even that ended up failing.

  So why in the hell was he the reason I couldn’t find, and keep, a healthy relationship?

  A backhanded tap on my arm brought me back to the here and now. “You want to hang out this weekend?” Sydney’s smile was all-knowing.

  “No.” I shifted in my seat. I often felt that Sydney could read my thoughts.

  Her brother could. It wouldn’t surprise m
e if she could too.

  “You so do. Hang out with us this weekend.”

  “I’m sure Sawyer has better things in mind than me hanging around you guys.” I crossed my legs, pulling down the hem of my linen skirt when it rode up.

  If Sawyer was coming for the weekend, it likely meant he needed to get away from home. I could only imagine the horrors he saw daily. Salt Lake City was in the news often with reports of trafficking and child crimes.

  And that’s not even taking into consideration that these days, people seemed to detest their city’s finest.

  Even if he and I were in the same city, the same state, my emotions and brain could not handle what he did for a living. The not knowing if, when he left for work, that would be the last time I’d see him smile, hear him laugh. His job was simply too dangerous.

  “You guys have such a great time together! I wish you would give him a chance.” Sydney put her phone in her purse with a sigh just as one of the store’s baristas came over and informed us they were closing in ten minutes.

  “Dang, the time always goes by so fast when we get together,” Sydney told me.

  It was true.

  She and I met under the oddest of circumstances—on a dating show. Not many people knew, even five and half years later, but Sydney had been with the casting department and after she and Caleb hit it off, she found herself on the show herself. Total unfair advantage, yeah, but what she and Caleb had was more than evident the first time I saw them together.

  In a weird turn of events, after the show I moved from my small Midwestern town of Galena, Illinois, to the San Diego Bay area to open up an online boutique with the intent of someday opening up a store front. I could have opened Sweet Grace back home, but like when I applied for the show, I had been in a mindset that I needed to force changes in my life.

  I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was introverted, but I definitely had some anxieties, so forcing myself away from all that I knew had been a challenge.

  One day, shortly after moving west, I was walking outside this exact coffee shop and ran into Caleb and Sydney; thus, beginning our off-show friendship.

  Sydney stood and shouldered her purse, snapping me back to reality. I followed suit, standing and grabbing my own purse as well. I picked up my mug to return to the bar.

  “Seriously, though, Grace,” Sydney continued as we walked out into the chilly San Diego night. “You should stop by this weekend. The kids would love to see you.”

  I smiled. She didn’t play fair, bringing in my pseudo-nephews and niece. “I’m sure.”

  “They would!” Sydney laughed.

  I shook my head, still smiling. “I’ll think about it.”

  And I would.

  And about Sawyer’s smile. About Sawyer’s voice.

  About how Sawyer made me feel.

  Sawyer

  I stepped out of the jetway, straightening the bottom of my suit jacket, and moved into the bustling terminal. Shouldering my backpack, I had the quick wish that I had my piece on me in this crowd. Traveling at any point near the holidays was a shit show; the amount of people in this terminal alone had my guard up.

  Shoot, with the way people were with cops these days, I should probably just start driving to San Diego for these weekend trips. It was only an eleven hour drive. At least then I’d know I had my gun on me and it wouldn’t get lost in some bag mishap that checked bags always ended up in.

  When I first swore in as a cop, there were days I almost forgot to strap on my Glock 27. Now I felt naked without the subcompact in my holster. But TSA had a problem with firearms on a person, so I had to follow the rules.

  I freaking hated crowds though, especially when I was ‘naked’ of my gun. I took a deep breath and started toward the baggage claim, weaving through the many travelers. It wasn’t like this was the first time I flew; it wasn’t the first time I didn’t have my gun physically on me. It just never got easier.

  The crowds thinned out as I moved away from the terminals and soon breathing became easier. Having been in this airport a number of times over the last five years, I quickly navigated the halls until I found the baggage claim.

  Thankfully, whoever was working the belly of the plane was quick today, and the turn style already had suitcases on it. I pulled out my phone to let Syd know I made it and was just waiting on my bag. She had texted me while I was in the air, stating she was tracking my flight and would meet me when I landed.

  It’s what we did.

  I knew she’d pick me up, just as she knew if she were staying in Salt Lake City, I would be at the airport waiting for her, bells and whistles and all that jazz.

  No sooner than I sent the text off, my phone signaled an incoming call from Jake.

  Not only was the man my partner, we were good friends. I slid the bar over on my screen, accepting the call and putting the cell to my ear.

  “What’s up, Bryant?”

  I stood in front of the moving baggage claim, my free hand in my jeans pocket as I waited.

  “Not much. You make it to sunny San Diego yet?” Like myself, Jake Bryant was a born and bred Utah man. Unlike me though, Jake came from a huge Mormon family. He had three brothers and four sisters, and every single one of them was a blue-eyed blonde. I went to a number of Bryant family functions; they were a fun family. Not strict Mormons, but when you looked at their family pictures, posed in front of red rock mountains, they were the definition of the type.

  It wouldn’t surprise me if Jake ended up marrying his current girlfriend. She fit the mold.

  “I did,” I answered, rocking back on my heels and watching for my bag. “Uneventful flight. Slight turbulence. The usual.”

  “You talk to your sister yet?”

  “Just text her.”

  “You seeing that pretty Grace while you’re out there?”

  That was the problem with close partners slash good friends. They found shit out and held it over your head. He and I shared a number of beers through the years, and he heard a number of stories.

  “Don’t know,” I answered, trying to go with careless but I wasn’t incredibly positive that it hit the mark.

  Jake chuckled. “Mmhmm. Sure.”

  I shook my head but grinned nonetheless. “Shove it, Bryant. What’s with the call? You need something or just checking in?” I joked. He and I had an ongoing battle as to who was the dominant one in our partnership; who went high and who went low. He was only a year older than me, making the two of us the youngest on our task force, but we worked well together.

  “You know I wear the pants in our relationship, Meadows. Gotta make sure my boy is where he said he was going.”

  “What the fuck ever,” I said around a chuckle. “Your girl leave you already today? Is that why you called? You bored?”

  I could hear him click his tongue and could picture him shaking his head in a gesture he typically did. “Yeah, well.” He paused long enough for me to check to see if the call was still ticking. “Stace left last night.”

  The way he said it…

  “As in…left left, or she went to a friend’s house last night?”

  “No, she packed her shit and left.” Jake said it nonchalantly but I knew how much he cared for the girl. Just the other day, I caught him pulling up ring stores on his computer during a rare down moment.

  Frowning, I kept my eyes on the turn style but asked, “Why?”

  “No clue, man. No fucking clue.” His voice dropped to one with slight emotion.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, having no idea what else to say. Jake and Stacy were what you would call “the perfect couple.”

  “’Eh, don’t worry about it,” Jake said, a jovial tone to his voice again. “Just wanted to be sure you landed ok. Needed to be sure I had a partner, come Monday.”

  I grinned crookedly, shaking my head to myself. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there.” Through the end of the claim, I saw my bag make the main turn style. “I gotta get going. I’ll see you Monday.”

  “Have
fun, Meadows. And by fun…” I heard the ass laughing as he hung up on me.

  Yeah, I’d like to have that kind of fun—knowing exactly what Jake meant—but it was highly unlikely. I’d be lucky to get eye contact out of Grace this weekend.

  When my bag came near, I reached and pulled the cognac leather roller off the belt. In my retrieval though, my elbow knocked the woman next to me.

  “Damn,” I slipped. “I mean, I’m sorry.” I reached a hand out as if to steady her, a reflexive reaction. The woman was good-looking, dressed as if she were a Business Class traveler in a pantsuit and made up hair, something you didn’t see too often in Economy. She appeared to be traveling on her own, too.

  If Sydney weren’t waiting for me, I’d totally ask her if I could buy her a Starbucks from the kiosk down the way. I’d spare a few minutes for her.

  As an apology.

  Yeah, Sawyer. Because Sydney’s waiting. I shook my head. Keep telling yourself that.

  It had zilch to do with the quiet blonde who stole my attention five years ago. The one I was betting my left nut wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye, because I screwed up so royally.

  Absolutely nothing to do with Grace.

  “Sorry,” I said again, propping my bag up beside my feet. She offered me a pretty smile on her beautiful face.

  “No worries, happens all the time in these busy places.”

  Her eyes dropped to my left hand, no doubt searching for a wedding ring.

  If it weren’t for Sydney… I tried convincing myself again.

  Who the hell was I kidding?

  With an inward sigh, I excused myself and left the woman behind. It had been four weeks since I took a woman to bed. Part of that was due to being so freaking tired after the cases we’d been on, but the other part was definitely in reaction to seeing Grace again and knowing she was in a relationship—had been in a relationship—for a decent amount of time.

  I pushed Grace from my mind and stepped outside into the still brisk San Diego morning. After glancing down the parkway, searching for Sydney’s car and spotting it, I readjusted my backpack and tilted my bag to roll down toward her waiting Explorer. Before I got to the black SUV, my sister was out of it and running toward me.