27: Dropping the Gloves Page 4

“I did.”

  Sydney nodded. “She did.”

  “I may not have called you last night, but I did call you this morning. Two hours ago. And just like every other damn time there was something going on with our daughter, you ignored the call.” I could hear the rising tears she was trying to hold back, and a part of me ached to hold her.

  A much larger part of me was still pissed.

  I pulled my phone out and opened my call log. “No fucking calls, Marlo. Stop with the lies and just admit that you’ve been trying to keep Rori away from me.”

  It made so much sense now.

  The declined trips. The unanswered phone calls.

  I hurt her, so her retaliation was keeping Rori away and making me out to be the bad guy. “You still tell the father of your daughter if something serious is happening to her. What the hell is she going to surgery for?”

  “Byrd.” Winski’s voice was thick with warning and when his hand landed on Marlo’s leg…

  There wasn’t anything stopping me.

  “Are you fucking my wife?”

  “Jordan!” Sydney, the voice of reason, tried. “This is a pediatric hospital.”

  At the same time, Marlo said, “I’m not your wife.”

  “Are you—”

  This time, it was Winski who cut me off. “One, she’s your ex-wife. And two, if I was, it would be none of your business. But no. I’m not.” Still, he remained sitting next to her, with his hand on her damn leg.

  I opened my mouth to say more, but Marlo cut me off.

  “You’re welcome to stay, but we’re not having this conversation. Not here. Not now. Rori’s going for an emergency appendectomy, and I’d rather not worry about fighting with you right now.”

  With no other choice, I took a seat across from the three of them. Sydney and Winski banding around Marlo like she was some fucking saint.

  Emergency appendectomy.

  And she didn’t let me know.

  The longer the time went, the more things over the last five years clicked together.

  When Rori was a baby, she’d gotten sick.

  I found out three months later, from my parents.

  I had to start asking them about what was going on with Rori, because Marlo wouldn’t tell me. I understood her need to stay away, but keeping information from me?

  I found out she’d moved out of our house a good four months after she did it, by way of returned cards. I didn’t really think much of it then because what six-month-old really cared about an Easter card, but it still hurt.

  When I left Marlo, it was because of me. It was because of thoughts in my head. I never intended to hurt Rori in the process. And I would have never imagined Marlo to have the vindictive bone in her body that I found over the last few years.

  Marlo may not have thought we were having that conversation, but it was happening.

  There wasn’t any way in hell it wasn’t happening.

  We had to clear out the five years of cobwebs if we were going to make this work.

  Or else it was going to be a long fucking end-of-the-season.

  Chapter Five

  Jordan

  It was after Rori was back in her hospital room, after Winski and Sydney both left, that Marlo finally looked at me.

  “If you want to talk, we’re not doing it here in front of her.” She placed a stuffed animal next to our sleeping daughter. After pressing a kiss to her blonde head, she added, “I want to run to my car for my laptop. You’re welcome to come with.”

  “Okay.” I gritted my teeth but walked over to Rori, leaning down and pressing my lips to her forehead. For the smallest of moments, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel the fear I had when Caleb told me she was here; to let it sweep through my body.

  We stepped out of the room, where Marlo said, “We’ll be back in a few minutes. She’s sleeping.” The unit secretary smiled and nodded, ensuring us she’d let Rori’s nurse know. Then, in silence, we walked down the hall and off the unit.

  The hospital felt huge when walking through it in silence. Sure, it was bright and colorful for the kids, but I was unable to focus on any of that.

  Instead, I was focused on the sure way my ex walked through the halls, head held high.

  This Marlo was strong.

  Not that she wasn’t confident when we were kids, but this Marlo had grown up over the last five years.

  Marlo changed.

  And I didn’t necessarily feel that I had. I was on the same damn hamster wheel I’d been on when I left. Still just some hockey player with no direction in life.

  You had direction.

  I did. And half of that direction was walking next to me; the other was sleeping in a hospital bed.

  After my trade to Florida, my game had been on point—for the first few months. Not only did my game start to suck, the life I thought I wanted quickly got old.

  Partying.

  Fucking.

  Nothing had meaning.

  I just became the team’s latest playboy, something that didn’t fare well for me amid the news that I had a daughter I allegedly refused to see.

  Once again, the anger started to course through my body.

  I never would have thought Marlo had it in her, but seeing her today, watching her walk so self-assuredly now, knowing she kept important things from me…

  I saw the girl I once knew in a completely different light.

  And I wasn’t all that impressed with her.

  I stuffed my hands in my pockets to try and hold my anger in; keeping myself compact and small, I guess.

  Hard to do at six-two, and two-hundred pounds of muscle.

  I followed Marlo silently through the halls and down a skywalk, until we reached the garage. Now outside of the hospital, I was itching to lay it all out, but I figured it would be best saved for when we reached her car.

  When we got there though, she was getting it all.

  All of it.

  I was done being made out to be the bad guy.

  And she was going to know it.

  Marlo

  I could feel the anger radiating off Jordan.

  Had been able to since he had his little outburst in the surgery waiting room.

  Who the hell did he think he was? I didn’t call him? What-the fuck-ever.

  Now that the worry of Rori was over, I had plenty of room in my emotional palate for anger.

  When we reached my car, I couldn’t hold any of it in anymore.

  I laid it on him.

  “You do not come into my life and act the way you have been!” I yelled, turning on him. “What are you? Sixteen again? Shit, Jordan, even then, you weren’t as hot-headed as you were this morning.” Thankfully, the garage seemed empty because my voice rose to octaves it hadn’t in a long time.

  His brows rose and he took his hands from his pockets, only to cross them over his chest. “If I had Rori and something happened to her, you better believe your ass I’d have called you.”

  “I did call you!” My voice echoed through the concrete walls and I threw my hands up. “And you would never have Rori. You had opportunities and you said no. So, don’t go pretending that you’re be better at co-parenting than I am. You haven’t even tried.”

  “I fucking tried!” This time it was his voice bouncing around us. “The first years, I fucking tried, Marlo.”

  I shook my head, hurt that he would say that. “Then we obviously have different definitions of the word.” I shook my head again but refrained from turning away from him. “You didn’t try. I tried. I tried, because Rori was a blessing, and perfect and beautiful, and I couldn’t imagine why you would want to turn your back on her, too.”

  “You didn’t call, Marlo. You didn’t tell me when you moved. You know how I found that one out? Returned cards. So yes, Marlo. Yes, I fucking tried. Until I realized I’d hurt you bad enough that you were retaliating by hurting me. Fuck, even my parents tried to get you to come home.”

  “Yeah, after making it perfectly cle
ar it wasn’t me they wanted to see.” I was embarrassed to realize tears were filling my eyes. “You left, Jordan. You did it. You left so you could go fuck other girls and be the guy you didn’t get to be when you were with me. In the process, I lost everything. So, no. When your family made it clear it wasn’t me they wanted to see, no, I didn’t try anymore. What was I going to do? Sleep in a hotel while my eighteen-month-old was at your parents? She would have been terrified, Jordan. She was with me twenty-four-seven. She didn’t know them.”

  “Because you didn’t give her the opportunity to get to know them! They’re her family, too.”

  “She was too young, Jordan! I think it’s perfectly reasonable to not allow my stranger-anxious daughter to spend days with family she doesn’t know, without me.”

  “But it was okay for you to bring men into your house when she was that old?” My brows lifted at this but he continued before I could ask for him to elaborate. “Oh yeah, Mar. I came back. I came to see you guys. To see Rori. But you were hanging out in the yard with some man. How many guys have you introduced Rori to, huh? You can filter men in and out of her life, but you can’t bring her to her family?”

  My first thought was confusion that he’d come by the house.

  The second was anger that he dare judge me. “Excuse me, but we were divorced. You could sleep around but I couldn’t even freaking date? Jordan, that’s ridiculous and you know it. For the record, not that I owe it to you, but it was one date and I didn’t have anyone to look after her. After that one, I kept Rori separate from any dates I had. Regardless, I gave you opportunities. I called you, left you messages. I wanted you to be in her life. You chose not to make more effort.”

  “I did what I could.”

  “Video chatting doesn’t count, Jordan.” I shook my head and turned away from him then so I could lean against the half wall that overlooked the hospital grounds. “Look. For Rori, I’m glad you’re back. I’m glad you’re obviously going to try and make things right with her. But we have to figure out something between us because I can’t look at you.”

  He was silent behind me. I closed my eyes and forced a deep breath through my mouth, letting it out as slowly and steady as possible. These next few months were going to be hell.

  Part of me wished really hard that come the end of the season, he would be sent to another team but…

  I clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes tighter, feeling the threat of my tears at the corners.

  I knew that unless he screwed up badly on the ice or in the locker room, he was here to stay.

  I was going to have to figure out how to live with him so near, when looking at him hurt so badly.

  “I’m going back up by Rori. I’ll leave when you come back but I’d appreciate being able to see her again tonight. We can take turns, do shifts, whatever, if you don’t want to be in the room when I’m with her, but I’m spending time with my daughter.”

  I turned and opened my mouth to say something, but Jordan was already retreating.

  I sniffled and wiped at my eyes with my fingers.

  It was going to be a really long few months…

  Chapter Six

  Jordan

  After the fifth book about a sassy cat named Pete, I looked up at the wall clock. Marlo would be returning soon to get Rori ready for bed.

  “One more,” Rori whispered as she leaned into my side.

  I was laying on the hospital bed with her, my socked feet crossed at the ankles and the head of the bed raised up enough to read, but not so much we would be sitting straight up and down.

  Earlier this afternoon, Marlo gave me a good half-hour before she returned to the room. I came back after dinner time and my ex so graciously granted me an hour with Rori.

  I was soaking it all in.

  “I don’t know, Rore,” I said with a chuckle, sliding the book into the cardboard box the set was sold in. I grabbed it on a whim in the gift shop and apparently, I hit the jackpot because Rori seemed to love the stories.

  This hour had gone by too quickly.

  Every time I’d been able to talk with her on video chat, I fiercely missed the little girl I hadn’t gotten to truly watch grow up. I didn’t need the press and Leeds to tell me that I screwed up by not doing more to be in this girl’s life.

  I couldn’t go back though. I could only go forward. And from now on, I was doing everything in my power to be a constant figure for her.

  “Can you stay tonight?” Rori’s voice was small and rather than lift her head to ask me, she tucked her chin and looked down. I reached over to slide my arm around her neck and pulled her a little closer.

  “Your mom’s going to want to stay, Rore.” I combed my fingers through her hair, watching as the blonde tresses fell from my hand.

  “You guys can stay here together.”

  My lips kicked into a sad side grin. “Doesn’t work like that, sport.”

  “But you guys are my momma and dad.”

  I rearranged myself to sit up and carefully pulled Rori into my lap. “I know, Rori.” She leaned into my chest and I dropped my head to nestle my nose into her hair. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Rori was such a tiny thing, I worried about squeezing her too tight.

  “I love you, daddy,” she whispered, tilting her head to the side, against my chest.

  My lips tightened and I had to fight to take a steady breath through my nose. After a moment, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, then angled so I could kiss her temple. “Love you too, sport.”

  Seconds later, the door opened and not only Marlo walked in, but Winski too. I refrained from gritting my teeth and claiming Rori as mine.

  Winski needed to step the fuck back.

  I kissed the crown of Rori’s head one last time before carefully moving her from my lap. “I’ll see you soon, Rore.”

  “Bye, daddy.” Her voice was small and her eyes were locked on me.

  My chest fucking ached.

  I was pissed that Marlo kept her from me.

  I was pissed that I let Marlo keep her from me.

  I was going to take every possible opportunity, and spend them with my daughter.

  Marlo wasn’t going to have a choice in the matter.

  “Can I talk to you?” I said, looking at Marlo. I glared at Winski before stepping out of the room, unsure if Marlo would follow.

  Just beyond Rori’s room was a small alcove with couches and a table. It was bright, and cheerful, just like every other aspect of this hospital, and had a huge window wall that showcased the city lights at night. I stepped in front of the window and stuffed my hands in my jeans pockets, trying to focus on the lights but really, I was watching for Marlo’s reflection.

  It was a moment, but soon she was walking toward me, and I had a flash of déjà vu.

  Waiting for Marlo outside her class at college.

  Her smiling face reflected in the window.

  Only this time, she wasn’t smiling.

  And this time, I wouldn’t be greeted with a laughing hug.

  I wondered why the thought entered my head, but I quickly pushed it away.

  When she stepped beside me, looking out the window as well, with her arms crossed over her chest, I said, “I’m going to see her.” I didn’t turn my attention from the window.

  “I never stopped you.” Her voice was quiet.

  I was going to have to see my dentist with the way I kept gritting my molars. I cleared my throat, refraining from that argument again. “I’m going to see her,” I repeated, this time turning toward her. “We don’t have a game Saturday, and are home on Sunday. I’d like to have her on Saturday.”

  “She has—”

  “We can get the legal team on this, Marlo,” I threatened, my voice lowered so to not travel. “I’m seeing her on Saturday.”

  She shook her head and sighed heavily, her lips parting on the action. “Fine.”

  I may have won the battle, but I knew this war was far from over.

  “Thank you,”
I said, sincerely, before leaving her standing alone.

  Marlo

  Rori was released the next morning with instructions to move but not be too active, and we spent the afternoon watching movies.

  I half expected her to say something about Jordan. She did see him more in a span of twenty-four hours than she had before. It was after an encore presentation of Trolls that she finally brought him up.

  “Can daddy come over for dinner?” She looked up at me with those angelic eyes and for a moment, even though she looked so much like me, I saw Jordan.

  “You’ll be with him on Saturday, Rori girl.” As uncomfortable as I was with the idea, he was her father. And if he was going to start making an effort…

  “I want to see him tonight.”

  “Saturday, bug.”

  …Unless I called him to remind him, and he sent me to voicemail again, and played the you didn’t call me card. I refrained from letting the scoff leave my lips.

  “But—”

  “You know the team Trevor plays for? You know that Trevor’s out of town tonight, right, Rori girl?”

  She nodded.

  “Your dad plays with that team now. He’s not home, sweetheart.”

  Rori dropped her chin and pouted, making my heart crack. Sighing, I grabbed my phone.

  She could talk to him this way.

  I pulled up his number and as it paused before clicking over, I prayed he’d pick up.

  Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. For our daughter, pick up the damn phone.

  “Hey, it’s Jordan. Leave one.”

  Tears of frustration burned in my eyes. “Sorry, baby girl,” I managed to say without croaking the words. “He’s not answering.”

  Her sigh was heavy and not wanting her to get any more down, I said, “Hey, how about we eat popsicles?”

  “Ok.” She didn’t sound as ecstatic as the thought of popsicles usually made her, but I was going to take it.

  “What color? We have multicolor, red, orange, and purple.” I stood and bunched a pillow to her side.

  She hemmed and hawed, eventually settling on red. I left her to grab two, keeping my phone in hand. Once in the safety of the kitchen, I pulled up Trevor’s number. It wasn’t quite five in Texas; there wasn’t any reason why he wouldn’t answer.