27: Dropping the Gloves Page 9

  “Fuck, Marlo,” I mumbled, anticipation running through my veins.

  She worked the top of my cock into her heat with short pulls before sitting all the way down.

  I groaned quietly, my eyes crossing in bliss, at the once familiar feel of her surrounding me.

  Fuck, I missed this.

  Marlo’s body was made for mine.

  I put my hands on her hips and could feel as she startled, stilled.

  “I love your body, Mar,” I grunted. I needed her to move. My thick cock pushed against her tight, slick walls, and I needed her to start moving. The frustration of anticipation was real.

  Her chuckle was short and breathy, slightly strained, but when she rearranged herself so her feet were at my sides and her hands braced by my knees, I forgot all about frustration.

  She felt so fucking good.

  And when she started to ride me up and down, slowly…

  My hands squeezed at her hips, helping guide her over my shaft, even though she was more than capable of moving the right way.

  Marlo started to moan, and soon she changed her movements from up and down to a slow grind.

  Good God.

  I pushed up to sit, banding my arms around her breasts and her stomach but rather than keep going, Marlo stopped.

  “Lay. Down.”

  I dropped my head to her shoulder. Now my frustration was for far different reasons.

  I wanted this.

  But I wanted to see her.

  To feel her.

  To watch her as her eyes became heavy with passion.

  …And she didn’t want to give that to me.

  The thought was almost enough to kill my erection, but then she wiggled and I decided to concede.

  I’d give her what she wanted.

  For now.

  I’d get what I wanted eventually.

  I wasn’t going anywhere.

  I lay back down, and let her do her thing.

  As she started to grind against me again, I engaged my abs and reached for her pillows, propping myself up so I could at least watch better. I wanted to watch something.

  Slowly, I ran my hand up her spine, my fingers playing with the clasp of her bra. I reached with my other hand but no sooner than both hands were there, one of hers was slapping behind her.

  “Jordan.” Her voice held a wealth of warning.

  I groaned and let my head drop back. I didn’t get it.

  She looked over her shoulder, her blonde hair partially obstructing my view of her face. “Leave it.”

  I rolled my eyes upward. “Fine.”

  She stared at me for a moment before turning forward again.

  Then she braced her hands in front of her again, and I watched as she rose and sat on my cock, the sight more than erotic. Between her bouncing ass, my cock disappearing in her pussy, and the moans she was making, I was more than okay with this situation.

  For now.

  “Fuck, Marlo.”

  “Quiet,” she said around a moan. She started the pull of a sexy grind again, and I could feel myself swelling bigger inside her.

  “I’m going to come, Mar. Touch yourself,” I said, issuing my own demands.

  “No.”

  “Marlo, you’re fucking coming with me. You won’t let me touch you, so touch yourself.” My words came out as more of a growl but apparently it was the right tone to use, because she put all her weight on one arm and reached between her legs.

  “Shit. Yes, Mar. Yeah, baby.” I fought to thrust up into her as she ground herself against me. “Shit, Mar.” I gritted my teeth as the tell-tale sign of my orgasm coming hit me.

  “Yeah. Mmmhm. Yes. Yeah.” Marlo’s moans were soft. Her thighs quivered against mine and I knew she was just about there. I squeezed her hips a little harder, then held her still as I took what control I could. My thrusts were quick and short and even.

  Her fingers slipped back and I felt as she split them, my cock brushing between her two fingers as I thrust mercilessly.

  “Shit, Mar. Fuck, Mar. Yes, baby.”

  She clenched down hard and the quivering at her thighs turned into a tight squeeze as she dropped forward between my knees.

  I held her hips down as mine pushed up into her, no longer holding my orgasm back. My cock jerked inside her heat and with two long, painful spurts, I mumbled, “Fuck…Me.”

  My cock wasn’t through jerking when Marlo sat up, pulling herself away from me.

  It was painful, her leaving me.

  Especially when I watched as she walked away from the bed.

  “Marlo,” I groaned, my cock jerked again, the condom slick and wet against my hip.

  I hurried from the bed, following her out of the room and to the hall bathroom. I glanced at Rori’s closed bedroom door briefly, but almost too long. I almost didn’t get to the bathroom before Marlo closed the door and closed me out.

  I flattened my hand against the door and pushed through, closing it behind me.

  She hadn’t yet turned on the light, so I reached for the switch, illuminating the small room.

  “I need to pee,” she mumbled, her back still to me.

  “Then pee.”

  I reached for my dick and started to remove the used condom. Marlo sat on the toilet and it wasn’t long before she was completing her business.

  This was an intimacy I never experienced with someone other than Marlo. And even though things were fucking strained right now, it was promising to have some sort of normalcy.

  “That was…”

  “Something that’s not happening again.”

  “Marlo, talk to me.”

  She shook her head, her eyes still locked on the floor.

  I tossed the condom and washed my hands. “Let’s talk. Please, Mar.”

  “That’s a girl’s line.” She stood and flushed the toilet, still fucking avoiding my eyes as she moved to the sink, washing her own hands.

  I’d had enough.

  I reached for her face and forced her to look at me. “Talk to me, Mar.”

  Her eyes searched mine. “Rori will hear.”

  “Then let’s go back to your room.”

  She pursed her lips and moved them to the side. I had a feeling she was going to cry.

  I didn’t want her to cry.

  Then with a whisper, she folded. “Fine.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Marlo

  I stared at the ceiling, trying to find words. For as badly as he wanted to talk, he was thankfully quiet. We’d walked back to my room and after closing the door, he pulled me to lay beside him on my bed.

  And I let him.

  The sex was…

  Intense.

  Emotionally so.

  Even though I’d refused to face him, refused to let him touch me intimately, it was…almost too much.

  This moment right here…

  It was like nothing had changed—we even lay on the same sides of the bed we used to.

  He could still read my body.

  He’s had extra practice.

  I swallowed hard at the reminder.

  He was still my only.

  But I was no longer his, something that had played over and over in my head as I rode him.

  It appeared he was finished with the silence as he pulled me closer to him. For the moment, I allowed myself to snuggle into his side, squeezing my eyes shut from the negative thoughts flooding my head.

  He picked up my hand from his chest and played with my fingers. I kept my eyes on the motions of his fingers playing with mine. “You in the stands…made me miss the old times. I needed you there. And I needed to be here. I know we’re a long way from fixed but Mar, you gotta know…I want this. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want this.”

  I sniffled and buried my head deeper into his side.

  “You crying?”

  I shook my head and took a deep breath—which was a mistake, because the smell of his cologne and sweat did things to me—before looking up, resting my chin on his ches
t. His words repeated over and over in my head. I wanted it too but… “No. Just thinking.” My voice was whisper soft; I wasn’t entirely sure he heard me.

  But I watched as his mouth worked, as he tried to say something. Open. Close. Swallow. Open.

  Deep breath. “I never stopped lo—”

  No.

  I pushed away from him, silencing him, and turned my back to him as I sat at the side. “You should probably get going. I have to get up early for a cookie order before Rori wakes up,” I rushed out. I made a quick exit for my closet, hiding myself in the two-foot darkened depths, trying to gain composure.

  He never stopped loving me. That was what he was going to try to say.

  He had no right to say that. He left.

  He left, he left, he left.

  You didn’t leave someone you still loved. You didn’t consider cheating on someone you loved. That wasn’t love.

  In the dark, I pinched the bridge of my nose and tipped my head back, squeezing my eyes shut. I fought to take calming breathes through my nose, trying to ward off the sting of tears, but the light turning on broke through my darkness.

  “Marlo.”

  I dropped my hand from my face and turned away, grabbing the first thing I could throw on easily.

  A sundress.

  A yellow, pretty sundress for eleven at night.

  Great choice.

  I pulled it over my head, letting the fabric drape over me, hiding my body from Jordan.

  “We haven’t really talked,” he said as I turned back to him. He was still standing in the door of my tiny closet, buck-assed naked.

  I waved my hand in his direction. “Put on clothes, Jordan.”

  “Marlo.”

  “Jordan.” Maybe it was my raised brows, but he sighed and turned away.

  My eyes dropped to his ass and I mentally scolded myself. I had no business sleeping with him.

  Appreciating his body…

  Just…

  I had no business.

  He bent to grab his boxer briefs and slacks, and while he sat on the edge of my bed to pull them on, I slipped out of the bedroom.

  Instead of waiting for him in the living room, I headed to the kitchen where I would have willingly downed a glass of wine, but the last time I did that in Jordan’s presence…

  That was hardly second base, Mar. You went all the way tonight. Have the glass of wine.

  I filled a glass with water, downing it in one breath.

  Even with everything racing through my mind, the energy coursing through my body, I managed to place the glass down on the countertop with a gentle clink.

  “Marlo, this wasn’t a mistake,” Jordan said as he turned into the kitchen. He kept his shirt untucked and his sleeves were haphazardly rolled up. Nothing about him looked like the cool, calm, professional athlete that showed up at my door hardly an hour before.

  This Jordan seemed to be every bit as rattled as me.

  “We still can’t do it again,” I said, bracing my hands on the peninsula counter in front of me, but looking down at the pattern.

  “I think we can.”

  I shook my head, looking at him while my head moved. “No.” I stopped my head but kept my stare on him. “We can’t. We aren’t the same, Jordan. Tonight was a mistake. It was scratching an itch. Nostalgia. You even said as much.”

  “I did not.”

  “You did. You said that seeing me in the stands was like old times.”

  “Because it was! Marlo.” He sighed and stepped closer but I held a hand up. He stopped on the other side of the counter. “I’m ready to do this, Marlo. I want the days and the nights.” He reached for my hands and squeezed them tight. “I want this. I want you and me and Rori.”

  My eyes burned but I refused to let the tears fall. Shaking my head, but keeping my hands in his, I revealed my biggest fear. “You left us once, Jordan. Who’s to say you won’t do it again?”

  “I thought I was missing out on stuff, Mar. That saying, the one about the grass on the other side? It’s a lie. The grass isn’t greener, baby.”

  This time, I did take my hands back, crossing them over my middle to try and keep them to myself. “We were together for ten years when you decided you wanted out. I know we were just kids but...” I shrugged. “Now we’re adults. And I have to do what’s best for me. For Rori.”

  “We are what’s best for Rori.”

  I hated pulling the card but… “You don’t really know her, Jordan.” I shook my head, then shrugged my shoulders once. “Two weeks of seeing her isn’t enough to know who she is.”

  I looked over my shoulder toward our daughter’s bedroom door, to be sure it remained closed. Lowering my voice, I looked back at him. “You say that you want us now. What’s it going to take for you to think maybe you should step out again? Another wedding? Another bridesmaid?”

  “I didn’t fuck her.” I couldn’t tell if it was exasperation or pain in his voice.

  “But you looked, and you were curious, and in the end, it started a chain of events that led to our divorce.”

  Jordan threw his hands up, this time obviously exasperated. Turning away to pace, he said, “It wasn’t Anna! That’s not what started it, Mar. It was you.”

  My heart stopped.

  It literally stopped in my chest.

  “You can’t point fingers. Not now.” I pointed at my chest and, with my voice still low but growing with hurt and anger, I added, “I was there for you. Every step of the damn way, Jordan. And when you selfishly decided to leave, you left me with nothing. NOTHING! Okay, you left me the house, woo-fucking-hoo. Oh, and the team,” I added sarcastically. Angry tears began to fall, but I did nothing to stop them.

  He stopped his pacing to face me, leaving a number of feet between us. “You weren’t the same, Marlo. You weren’t the same fun girl I fell in love with. Being here—” he shook his head and swung his hand out— “fuck, there. Being home wasn’t fun. Being with you. It wasn’t fun. You were depressed nine days out of ten and nothing I did could help you. You didn’t want to get help, you didn’t want to talk to doctors about why you couldn’t stay pregnant. Everything was about time tables and pee sticks. Sex became a chore and was no longer spontaneous and fun. It was fucking stressful.”

  My mouth was hanging open and if I thought my heart had stopped before?

  Now it was a dull, painful ache in my chest, coursing ice cold pain through my veins.

  He blamed me.

  He literally blamed me.

  In his eyes, the demise of our marriage was my fault.

  Somehow, I found whatever strength I still had. “Out. Get out of my house.”

  His shoulders dropped and I watched the realization of his words fall over his face. “Marlo. I didn’t—”

  “Get out of my fucking house!” My voice was shrill and no doubt would wake up Rori, but I didn’t give a damn.

  Actually, I did.

  I hurt.

  Ached.

  I thought it was bad five years ago, but it was so much worse now.

  I let myself give in to him.

  It had been too quick.

  I should have stuck to my guns. I knew Jordan. I knew what he was capable of.

  I knew he could hurt me and here, I let him do it again.

  I couldn’t let Rori see her father and I like this. I lowered my voice, but between the shaking that was brought on by tears, not all my words came out. “Leave now, Jordan. Before I say something I don’t mean.”

  “Marlo,” he tried again, but I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head.

  I pushed around him and down the hall, back to my room, not even listening for him to leave.

  I was done.

  Jordan

  “Fuck!” I yelled, hitting my steering wheel with both hands after locking myself inside the truck.

  What the fuck had I been thinking?

  I was hurt that she wasn’t willing to try moving forward with our relationship, so I lashed out and hurt her in re
turn.

  I was really fucking good at hurting her…

  Pressing my palms into my eyes, I tried taking a calming breath.

  I couldn’t lose her a second time.

  You never really got her back.

  Once again, I had taken for granted the one thing that had been my ever constant.

  Marlo was my greener side.

  She was the thrill of winning a fight. The excitement of a goal-signaling red light.

  Marlo was everything wrapped in a small blonde package, and once upon a time, she’d been completely mine.

  I opened my eyes into the dark night, moving them to stare at the only illuminated window in Marlo’s place.

  Come hell or high water, I was going to fix this.

  For good.

  Forever.

  Taking my phone out of my back pocket, I started to form a plan.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jordan

  “I’d offer you a beer, but I’m not feeling very hospitable.” Winski shut the door behind me as I stepped into his foyer. His words were on the edge of jest, but I knew the guy well enough to know he held a grudge.

  I couldn’t blame the guy.

  “Thanks for letting me come by,” I said instead.

  Winski grunted and moved around me. I followed into the living room, where he collapsed onto his couch. I went to the sofa, sitting on the buttery leather that begged to be sunk into. Instead, I leaned forward on my knees, facing the man who had been my last link to San Diego.

  My last link to Marlo.

  Something that I fully realized on the drive over from her place.

  He’d been my last friend, the last connection I had to my ex, and seeing him with her…

  I blew it all way out of proportion.

  “I’m sorry. I want to lead with that.” I kept my head dropped but my eyes were across the room on him. “Thank you for watching out for her. I know you didn’t do it for me. I don’t deserve that. But thank you all the same.”

  Winski just grunted again.

  “I jumped to conclusions.”

  “Ya think?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, yeah, rhetorical, but yeah.” I swallowed then pushed my tongue against the front of my teeth. “I screwed up tonight.”